I’m always asked what my favourite country, city or general place to be is. Of course, this is all a matter of opinion, but in a time when we’re suddenly re-entering a covid-y period, it’s a good time to reflect on when we could piss off to wherever we felt like without quarantining or contemplating how many masks we need to pack.
Best…place to get a drink– CZECH REPUBLIC
It’s no secret that the Czechs love a drink as much as us Brits. In fact, they’re the fourth highest consumers of alcohol in the world. In essence, so long as you avoid bars in the very centre of Prague, you can be sure of a good cheap pint and plentiful spirits. Pilsner Urquell is an absolutely cracking brew, and you can even get yourself glasses of it on draught on some Intercity trains. The general rule with Czech beer in supermarkets is that you should try all of it, as it’s going to be drinkable at worst and brilliant at best. This is before we get onto the wine, which is always worth a glass or twenty. No matter the hour of the day, if you travel with the SuperCity trains between Prague, Ostrava and Kosice, then you can be sure of a free glass of Bohemia Sekt at your seat. Even on an empty stomach at 7am. I mean hey, it’s free.
Worst…place to get a drink- NORWAY
I mean, I can’t deny that Norway has some absolutely brilliant alcohol on offer, it’s just the fact that not only is it so damn expensive, having been taxed to the high heavens, but obtaining it can be quite the challenge. Beer is available from supermarkets up to 8pm on Weekdays, 6pm Saturdays, and I’m afraid you’re going teetotal on Sundays. If you want anything stronger, you need to get yourself to a Vinmonopolet (Wine Monopoly) store with even more restrictive hours. That said, if you can actually get your hands on, and subsequently afford, the drink on offer in Norway, then it’s usually a good bet. Just expect to pay over £10 for a 330ml glass of beer in a bar.
Best…place to travel spontaneously- SWITZERLAND
Before I begin, this does NOT mean that it’s cheap, particularly if you’re travelling from say, Geneva to St Gallen at 10 minutes’ notice. Swiss transport has some incredible deals though within cities and regions though, and if you’re planning on using the railways there enough times, grab an Interrail pass. No train in Switzerland (other than any sleeper trains and the TGV to France) specifically requires a reservation, meaning that provided you have a ticket, then you can jump on board. What’s more, all transport generally operates to a “taktfahrplan”, meaning that all modes will depart at the same time every hour, so there’s no need to memorise the whole timetable. This makes postponing your plans for an hour while you grab another drink incredibly easy, as you know that the next train, bus or pack horse will be in exactly an hour. What’s more, connections actually work. All trains will generally meet at a station within a few minutes, and will also be on time, meaning that you can just expect things to go to plan. Of course, there will be the odd exception!
Worst…place to travel spontaneously- SPAIN
Don’t even bother Interrailing in Spain. There, I said it. Travelling outside of cities requires a reservation at an extra fee which is sometimes as high as 30 Euros. The only services which don’t require a reservations are certain “Regional Express” trains (good luck guessing which) and “Cercanias” trains within cities, which usually have unstaffed gatelines, so good luck climbing under and over the gates. The obsession within Spain to have a high-speed rail network has been at the expense of improving slower, “classic” routes, which often see just a trickle of services per day and take many hours to get from A to B. For example, an AVE high-speed service leaves Madrid for Valencia most hours of the day and takes two hours. A Regional service leaves just a handful of times per day and takes eight. If you’re taking the train take the strain in Spain, plan ahead.
Most Instagrammable- SWITZERLAND
I mean, obviously. But my best advice isn’t to spend £££s going up the Matterhorn or spending all of your time blowing the budget in Geneva. The fact is that Switzerland as a whole is absolutely gorgeous and you don’t need to be joining special tourist trains and descending on the honeypots. It’s significantly more satisfying finding the lesser known places. Jump off in Meggen (nr Luzern) and find the little pier by the lake. Find yourself by the Lac Leman in Lausanne at 7am as the mist flirts with the reflection of the sunrise and watch the sunset over the Lago di Lugano. Hop on a commuter train of the Zentralbahn to Engelberg, or walk by the Brienzersee. Go wherever the wind takes you.
Best…place to go if you don’t know the lingo- THE NETHERLANDS/NORWAY
Put simply, you can be pretty sure of somebody around you not only knowing English, but likely speaking it either as well as you or even better in these countries. You can wander these countries without much anxiety if you need to ask somebody a question. In the Netherlands, I have never ever spoken Dutch and it’s had absolutely no impact on my experiences there. I’ve had better conversations with the Dutch than I have with a lot of Brits! The same goes for Norway.
My favourite…cities- BUDAPEST/VIENNA
I simply couldn’t pick just one. The Danube Duo are absolutely unmissable. Budapest genuinely surprised me as it’s not only incredibly clean and easy to get around but it’s cheap to eat, drink and have an absolutely amazing time. Granted, the hills of Buda are brutal, but I used to live in Sheffield so the Citadella is merely a long Conduit Road. It’s just absolutely gorgeous. As for Vienna, I’d say that it is one of the most beautiful cities in Europe and would say that it has a far, far more romantic aura than the likes of Paris. It’s also very walkable, meaning that you can do no harm by simply letting your legs take you on an adventure, and the atmosphere is general, particularly in the Summer, is remarkably chilled out. It’s the only time I’ve ever just stopped by a film festival and stood in the street with a stein of beer just because it tickled my fancy. Did I mention that it’s bloody gorgeous??
My least favourite…city- PARIS
I don’t know, the so-called City of Love just doesn’t do it for me. I mean, the last time I visited, I had my phone stolen and was with someone who didn’t exactly embody love, romance or anything close, but I just can’t relax there. You’re dodging scammers, mini Eiffel Tower sellers, and general thieves, and I suppose that adds to the general charm of Paris. It isn’t perfect, but on the other hand, there isn’t much romantic about nearly getting kicked in the head by somebody vaulting over a ticket barrier behind you. There are so many other places in France, let alone Europe, that I’d say were worth your time more. However, despite all this, I’d still give it another chance. St-Germain-en-Laye and the Jardin du Luxembourg are pretty cute, even if I’d sooner book a romantic rendezvous to Vienna, Budapest, Lake Balaton, Lugano, Copenhagen, Stockholm…-
The Lone Bon Voyager 